Apparently after 11 years of 500-photos-per-post-and-12 posts-a-year Blogger throws it's hands up in storage defeat. It's okay with me to start a new blog because those old posts from 10 years ago were downright embarrassing anyways. I can hardly even recognize the person that I was. So onward and upward...

Videos 7/4-8/16

To begin the blog

When you ask, "do you want the good news or the bad news," most people say they want the bad news first. So this post is going to start with the bad to get it over with and then there's a ton of good after that.

the P.O.P. lately is high

POP stands for percentage of poop/pee. I'd prefer the percentage of poop in my life to be like 2% or less. Lately it has felt like 75% or more. I have noticed there is a high correlation between POP and morale. When POP is high, morale is low. (Wel....to clarify- morale is low for me. and "when momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy." lol if I have to spend 75% of my day cleaning up different bodily fluids from at least 4 different living beings, then everyone around me will suffer as well. I'm so sorry. But that's the way it is.)

I was thinking if I got the camera working in her room I could intervene pre-poop. That was not a good plan. But it did make for some very entertaining concerts. Mckinley is a very good singer and dancer. I'd give her a 5 star review. But the goal was napping, and she's in the weird phase of "I don't want to nap but if I don't I'm going to ruin your evening"......

So it's become my usual process to bring cleaning supplies with me every time I get her up in the morning or from her nap. and dallin and I go in twice a night to take her to the bathroom. And I still help Cooper and clean up after the dogs and they've been having accidents in the house as well. so that's why I'd say my POP is wayyyyyyy to high for happiness level to be high.

However, one of the books I've been listening to is "the comfort crisis" by Michael easter and he writes about "misogi." He says it's a challenge that is almost impossible and after doing it you feel greater happiness. The concept encourages individuals to set a significant, challenging goal each year that pushes them beyond their comfort zone. He says that doing something so hard gets your mind into the flow state and you feel greater levels of accomplishment and whatnot. So Maybe having an abnormally high level of poop and pee in your life could be counted as a misogi? lol anyone who has thoughts on that- hit me up. I'd say being a mom in and of itself is a friggin' misogi. Anyways....

The other thing I'd say that is high lately is the P.O.S. (not the typical acronym I promise lol I know what you're thinking when you read POS....) What I mean when I say that is the percentage of screaming. That has been so high lately that I have purchased earplugs from amazon for 3 members of the family. So I'm not going to name names..... but we have a 50% POS level lately and that is extremely high when your husband works from home. Anyways..... because of this recent revelation that my happiness is directly linked to the POP and POS levels in my house, you can quickly and easily find out how I'm doing my simply asking "How have the POP and POS levels been lately?" Anything higher than a 30% is a cry for help 😂

Silver Lake hike

Soooo breathtakingly beautiful! 🤩 😍

We saw a moose very close up. We were even closer to it than this picture later on because we kept walking and it crossed the trail. I was very nervous but trying to play it cool. If you watch the video you can hear dallin say what's that and coop says its a deer and dallin says moose and he says its a moose lol

There were some guys fishing and Cooper walked right up to an older gentleman and asked for a turn and the guy said sure! and let him hold his fishing pole! (What a nice guy!) and Cooper ended up catching a fish that was so big it broke the line!

the visitors center

we went with the maughns and so this is all the kids together climbing the rock wall (minus baby Kennedy of course)

we saw a bald eagle

afterwards we went to spitz and a cute donut truck

play play play

our cave- splash pad with Ryan

gale center

park

bow and arrow (because he wants to be like Hiawatha from the book we have "Hiawatha's kind heart")

naked painting and then play in the basement because I didn't want them to get paint on the house or on the clothes

my old doll house from when I was a kid with all the barbies

McKinley's official 3 year old cowgirl boots

cooper's intense Winnie the Pooh phase is my favorite thing. it just doesn't get any more adorable than that.

He will sing "up down touch the ground," "honey," "rumbly in my tumbly," and "it's gonna be great." and they will both act out the stories

kids going across the street by themselves to beg the neighbor kid for the toy truck lol

she can ride her balance bike now! she took a bad fall tho and said she never wants to see that thing again and I literally had to carry it home and she told me I might as well burn the thing cuz it's dead to her..... (BIG FEELINGS.)

Cinderella with cowboy boots

Our neighbor has a baby named Elise and so she was calling her baby doll "baby leese" and feeding it a sandwich

Playing in the "pyramids"

found a puddle on the bike ride so naturally we were there for 30 minutes and left soaking wet and shoe-less.

swimming with the black fam

coop was so brave and got his life jacket on and went completely out into the deep end!

on our bike rides she always wants a book from the free library in our neighborhood and he always finds a shady spot and says lets take a break and we sit on the ground and people pass us wondering if we're ok lol

Sometimes I wonder if all toddlers so quickly and easily strip naked or if it's just mine.... one minute they're clothed and the next you turn around and they're naked in the yard lol 😂 happens to the best of us I guess

splash pad with the black fam

naked archery in the basement

we opened the garage one day and there was a kid and coop went running out "WAIT! WHATS YOU NAME!" so the kid said "Baylor, wanna be friends?" and coop said yup and off they went bike riding. lol I wish adults were like that ❤️ so cute

Learning

Cooper has shown through things he says that he understands addition and he knows that the symbol of numbers represents the amount and he loves it when I read to him. he picked out this terrarium and is remembering to water it every day and it's actually working and growing!

this is all cooper's work. he does really well if there is a reward afterward and its really short bursts of time spent on it

he can sort letters, differentiate between capitol and lowercase but still know they're the same letter, and he can cut and glue really well now.

My mom got us a lot of books she saw in the clearance section so I started with mckinley and she seems to like the concept of doing school work because it makes her feel grown up like Cooper but then when she has to follow a direction she's like "nah that's borking I'm gonna do it my way" lol which is fine with me I just wanted exposure and positive experience with it at this point. so this is her page she did

The rest are all cooper's pages. writing wise he's better at straight lines than curved. He can trace and his writing has come a long way I have been very impressed.

search and find and OT

art idea we tried- library

he can stay on the object when he colors and follow the direction of the color to use

we did this idea and kinder really loved it so she did 3 different papers as well as her whole body lol

Saratoga marina party

we had a blast! and we loved that it was free!

Nashville/SLC conference

dallin really likes the company and his coworkers

he said it was a lot of fun

fishing with the maughns

Dallin caught 4! coop loved it. kin not so much lol she said I will hike and we just walked laps around the lake

wedding

I love a good wedding. Congrats tara and Shilo! it was so beautiful!

it was viciously hot out there so dallin Justin and Brian were dying of heat while doing rehearsals and taking pictures lol

Brian did a great job as their officiant!

cuties

they keep it 💯...... 100% cute that is 😉

he put his honey pot in his shirt because pooh has a belly

love the tail lol

we had to touch the flamingos on our daily bike ride for like 4 days straight. now that house doesn't have flamingos up anymore lol ...... I wonder why

kinder likes indian food

dress up

its so common for us to be out and someone compliments kinder's eyes 👀 she's such a pretty lil thang

cruising' the isles at smiths and coop randomly says "there's Evie and Liam" like that's a normal non-surprising thing at all and I was like no..... oh wow they are here! lol it was so funny

McKinley's 3rd bday

this was her desperately trying to get the 3 year old boots on her feet that shelly sent. They were way too small so we exchanged them for some that are really big so she can wear them for a long time

These are the pics from her bday party. it was super low maintenance and chill and it went really well. I was so grateful to all the ppl who came and made her feel supported. She was so excited for it to finally be her turn

I didn't bring my swimsuit and just sat on the edge of the pool and then learned my lesson when my white shorts were see-through because I sat in a little water. so now my neighbor has been mooned by me 😳 😬 😱 lol Sorry Karen!

she was all happy and excited while we sang to her and then when she tried to blow out the candles they didn't go out and so she felt sad and embarrassed and it was heartbreaking and also adorable somehow at the same time. So much pressure for such a little kid! everyone was looking at her and she felt like she failed at her job of blowing out candles so she didn't try again she just stayed like that and dallin asked if he could blow them out for her and she said yes and he did. but other than that she seemed so happy opening her presents and whatnot

I was so grateful we could use the clubhouse at David and Sara's rental because it made it free for us to give her a swim party like she wanted.

this was what we got her for her bday since she always tells us she likes to cook lol so he chopped everything in sight she was so excited.

Cooper wanted some pictures too lol

this was the actual day of her birthday because we did the party early. She wore the bday crown and dress all day of course :)

The whole day if anyone said happy bday to her she would yell NO at them because in her mind her birthday already happened lol

then we went to little Layla's neighborhood as a fun little bday extravaganza

it was fun until the end when they got into a giant fight and I had to carry them both out of there kicking and screaming lol

McKinley's 3rd birthday video

I cannot believe she is 3 and this video is so sentimental! 😭

If that 👆video doesn't work, CLICK HERE to see McKinley's 3 year video!

the 4th of July festivities

Our 4th of July was so fun! Our neighborhood did a bike parade and breakfast. Ben and Jamie brought Evie and Liam and David and Sara came too. We decked out our bikes and ourselves and the kids loved it!

they didn't want to stop! so the parade was just supposed to be one lap and we did like 3 lol 2 then ate and and then dallin did one more with them

I had music and bubbles goin' - it was (as the young ppl say) "a vibe" 😝

then after the nap we went to Brian's for a big family party

the fireworks that night were nuts by our house! the kids were asleep so they missed them

Jake's 14th bday

To celebrate old Jake turning 98 we went on a hike. Because what 98 year old doesn't want a strenuous, up hill hike in 96 degree weather for their birthday?! 😆

it was really fun but we didn't finish it we turned back early because it was so hot and we were all so tired.

on the way back down I slid and pretty comically fell right on my butt in front of a lot of people lol nothing was hurt but my pride but my mom still panicked 😂

afterward we went to freddy's

This was the vet appointment where they charged me 78$ and 30 minutes waiting around doing nothing to just have an 8 minute chat where he says, "yup, he's old!" lol cool bro.

Church

the block party

I took the kids without dallin cuz I forget what but he was doing something. and it was really fun and I was so proud of the kids for being so social and outgoing.

they were playing happily until another kid pushed kinder down and she was hurt pretty bad (I didn't see what happened but she was doing the non-breathing cry) and Cooper got all protective and said "you hurt my sister I will save her!" and went a lil cray cray so I had to break it up and take em home lol we've all been there I guess. toddler version of bar fight lol never thought I'd be doing the "hold me back!" moment with a 5 year old .... but also good for him for being protective older bro

24th of July

we went to rach and Todd's for the 24th and it was so fun! we ate and did fireworks and this was the first time they were seeing it this year because they missed the 4th and they were over the moon excited

it was so cute to watch them be so happy about them so we were all watching them more than the fireworks lol

they even took turns being the one to light the firework

graff fam time

black ridge reservoir

they're so cute when they play together

Lehi legacy center

went swimming one day to check out to see if we wanted a membership

they liked it but it was really crowded and loud

this is kid fit! it's kind of like little kid PE in the gym so I love it because its screen-free and practice following directions from an adult and being with a class of peers

I also love that I can spy on them without them knowing from the mezzanine like the weirdo that I am lol

it was so cute to watch kinder do this sticker game over and over and have the older girl help her and then go up to the teacher to show her look I did it! and it was also cool that I caught the teacher doing a jump! haha

the darlings

our neighbors are darling! hahahahaha get it?! I'm sure they never hear that one. lol

this was our double date and it was so fun!

playing at their house ( we do this a lot and I love it!)

smith and Kamryn are adorable and I love to see the social skills starting to develop

our impromptu walk one day (and we pretended that we were a squirrel family and that was our nest lol )

every kid in the wagon instead of bikes lol typical end of a toddler bike ride

I really love how positive and down to earth and easy going Kaitlin is. I have really valued her friendship a lot after moving here.

triple date

it was so fun we played games and went to the break

Neighborhood play

I love love love our neighborhood and how social it is.

watch the video of this! Cooper asked for the tigger song so they could all bounce like tigger and it was so cute

the kids were all so cute together

funny/cool memories

me stuff

I think that I have neglected myself for like 5 years and it's catching up with me and I'm finally deciding to do something about it. I listened to this book and I like the concept that self care is not as simple as just taking a bubble bath. Because I think the whole reason I got into this problem is doing something like that just feels like a drop in the bucket and I have literally no idea where to start to feel like "me" again. (Like isn't it interesting that I'm so used to blogging about the kids that I awkwardly name this section "me stuff" because it feels weird and out of place to even include it and so I have no idea what to name it. Also for some reason this feels embarrassing for me to even write about. But the bookclub book this month (which is another example of something I want to prioritize for myself) is brene brown gifts of imperfection and she says in that book that shame develops when something is not shared. So this is me trying to take a step with that in mind.

Anyway, what I learned from dr. cutlip is to use the "relationship attachment model" that is typically used with relationships with others on yourself. Its "Know, trust, rely, commit, touch"

know deeply- who am I now and who do I want to be?

trust accurately- what am I focusing on?

rely boldly- what do I need?

commit wisely- how am I prioritizing me vs. all the other things?

touch purposefully- what is my body telling me?

So an example would be to ask yourself, "Am I living in a way that feels consistent with how I know myself? Do I see myself in a positive light? What do I need? Am I priority in my own life? Am I caring for my physical body?"

I love that I have been able to stick with things even throughout how friggin' hard parenthood is. like doing a memory book every year and doing this blog- I love being able to look back at the memories

one part that feels like me is when I dream of interior design ideas I love.

I have been taking care of this plant. I used to not even be willing to try having a plant assuming the kids would destroy it. (Much like every other decision over the last few years it was based on everyone else buy myself.) I love that I decided that I want to keep this plant I won from bunco (bunco being another thing I did to prioritize myself and my social wellbeing) and the kids can learn that boundary. I think it's good for everyone involved. I've been taking pictures of it to see if it's growing or changing

another thing I'm ridiculously cheap with myself and it was incredibly freeing to go shopping for myself, by myself one day. I think it's a mindset shift to think I deserve clothes just like anyone else does in my family and also to believe that I could find things that I like and that will look good on me. I end up frustrated sometimes because of the way things fit. So I learned that I need to be wearing petite because the inseam is shorter and the rise is shorter. I have seriously had experiences with putting on high rise jeans that literally touch the bottom of my bra lol

I saw a sign recently that said the secret to happiness is 3 things. having someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to. So my mom was so nice to be willing to take care of the kids so that I can go to Boston with dallin in October and I am soooooo looking forward to it and so excited it's happening. so I was thinking that cardigan thing could be for that trip. it was also so nice to get things to wear for substitute teaching because being able to do that will feel like having a bit of "me" back too. It was so funny that for like a year or more I've been trying to find jeans that are not skinny jeans that I actually like and I finally found them and was so excited and then I came across an article saying skinny jeans are back! lol cool. perfect.

Sadie was sick and had poop all over her but and so everywhere she sat she was getting poop. so basically we had to clean the whole house and her. and when I cleaned the couch the color came off completely and it looked ruined and I lost it. Bad combination of no self care, high P.O.P. 😂, and constantly trying to say and do the right things that read from all the parenting books and conferences. I think when I have to say and do the right things 24/7 I can't really be me or be real or express my actual emotions because I have to be regulated so that the kids can coregulate and yada yada. so the downside of that is that holding all the emotions in causes explosions lol the good news was the dogs had a grooming apt right then so I had to take them and when I got back I was cleaning out the garage. (Sad that cleaning out the garage is my version of cooling off or calming down or having "me" time...) And I have been thinking about what specifically needs to change and listening to books about me not parenting and got the legacy pass and that all has helped a lot . I got this coloring for leather and put it on and it made me feel so much better about it.

I loved dr. becky's workshop on mom rage because she phrased it like "imagine you feed your family for 3 days but never yourself and you ignored all the signs your body gave you that you were hungry. Well now your body is desperate because it's starving to death and so it's going to do something drastic to show you what it needs since you've been ignoring the smaller signals it's given. and that's what happens with mom rage. you ignored yourself for so long that your body had nothing else left to do to get your attention." She Some more good quotes-

"you can't regulate a feeling you don't allow yourself to feel." (So that felt counterintuitive..... she's the same person telling me I always have to be regulated around my kids. lol I'm always around them!)

"Anger is a feeling that puts us in touch with what we need. And nothing puts us as in touch with our self worth as our needs."

Anyways I really identified with this graphic she showed. that it's just the tip of the iceberg for all the other issues underneath. So today I put on makeup and did my hair. and it was glorious. lol and it was so cute that Cooper noticed and told me I looked pretty 😍

I quit taking care of myself last September I'd say. so I guess it's an exaggeration to say I haven't taken care of myself in 5 years. there have been small spurts of it. it's just very hard to maintain with how much the kids demand both mentally and physically. So exercise, eating well, doing my red light therapy on my face, washing my face or any skin care at all, reading novels and drinking herbal tea in the evenings, going to bed at a decent hour, even taking vitamins- it has all gone out the window. I got a water pick and I vowed to at least start there. And it looked like I was punched in the mouth lol so my gums are clearly very healthy....

I've also been doing my red light therapy every night and I also got a heated eye mask and an app for beginners to learn meditating. the book I read was talking about how scientists can accurately tell who will give in to temptation based on the amount of time between heart beats. So if you can extend that you can have more will power and your amount of willpower is diminished by small things all day long so cleaning up pee, holding your kid down to brush their teeth, regulating your own emotions when they have a meltdown, traffic, work stress, etc. so then you have less that is left over to use. So I think my will power has been going elsewhere and that's why I haven't been taking care of myself like I used to. Anyway so it was talking about ways you can extend the length of time between heartbeats (besides trying to eliminate potential willpower drains you have going on in your life that you have the ability to change). Eating well, exercise and meditation were on there. so that's why I decided I should try meditating. it puts me to sleep! which is amazing because I have been taking sleep pills for like 6 years to sleep! I also started sleeping in the guest room and it's been such great sleep and now it's just dallin and Cooper in my bed. I think all the combined efforts have been pulling me out of my funk.

My hair journey

I was so sick of paying 230$ every 2 months to not even like my hair anyways. So I gave up and finally went for the box dye and my mom did it for me. I am glad I finally took the plunge because I've been talking about it for like a decade lol so this was me using the garnier frutisse website where they will show you what your hair will look like with the color on it

this was the before (I hate how orange my hair always was with this person id been going to)

my mom and I about to start the process

we had a helper arrive of course lol she didn't want to miss a thing

she's so cute and funny 😄

this was after! it went a little darker than I wanted but we used a Demi so I just started washing it everyday so it would fade. The before and after is pretty amazing because it makes you really see how freaking orange my hair was!

so this was a little later

and a little later

and later

the debate was between a level 5 and 6 and I went for the 5 but should've done 6. but with all the fading it's looking pretty good so I think we're just going to add 6 highlights instead of doing the whole thing

Back to school/meet the teacher night

this was cooper's classroom! They both did really well at back to school night!

it was quick and easy and everyone was happy so that was nice and we met his SLP too

I thought it was cute that he remembered the "bridge" at the school from back when he used to go there and he had to do it again when we got there. he said everybody do it lets all do it together! lol

after that we went to the end of summer luau party Saratoga did. and honestly it was a let down for me but it wasn't bad. there was a farmers market of booths set up and people were being sales-ey and kept flagging us down to talk to me and finally Cooper said "just leave us alone! stop talking!" lol and I secretly agreed cuz I don't want any of that stuff but still told him we can't say that out loud 😂

watch the video to see her cutely dancing to the music!

dr becky tips for back to school and they were all very helpful for us I think

they both picked out backpacks for school and Cooper said his had to be white. nothing else plain white. and she chose this one 👇 but then we learned later that her school has a no backpacks policy lol so I was glad I was able to sell her on the idea that this one is for other fun stuff and that is her school bag

this was her getting ready for meet the teacher. they asked that siblings don't come and so one of us had to stay with Cooper and she said she wanted to go with daddy which I thought was adorable and I'm so glad dallin could take her because it was in the middle of a work day but he's such a good dad and he prioritized it for both kids

Cooper was mad he couldn't go too so when we tried to take a picture he was freaking out so that is why this picture of the two of them isn't that great

they both loved it and were looking forward to school after seeing the classroom and meeting the teacher! no tears! 🥳

happy anniversary... (ish)

we planned to use our free night at a Marriott because of our credit card for our anniversary and my mom was willing to watch the kids so we get there and they said oh sorry we had a glitch in the system and so we're full. and we had to just go home. So that part was annoying. I told dallin we're just like Jesus when they said no room in the inn! and he said "that's not how the story goes" lol he was there! anyways. my mom was planning to do a sleepover with both kids in her bed and I'm glad we got home to intervene because that would have meant she did not sleep at all I assure you. lol 😂 mckinley parties for hours every night and coop gets anxious and mckinley has accidents, etc. anyways before we left salt lake we went to van Ryder and ate dinner so that was really good we still had a good time

it was nice because we were still able to go to breakfast and get a massage the next morning and my mom took them to smith and Kamryn's bday party for us so that was really nice we still felt like we got to celebrate it. and my mom said they all had fun and kids did well at the party

my mom said she was carrying around 4 babies and their names were Kelly, Annie, Sammy, and Kent. lol how random?! she also told me one time playing with a doll that it was baby ferris and that is the name of the baby who lives across the street from us and we haven't seen them in like 3 months so her memory is incredible.