June 2026 post

We lost Jake on june 16th - and it was really hard. I have been procrastinating the blog because I don't want to write about it and relive it.

Those are pictures of us when we were first dating and got him as a puppy. He really was our first child. We treated him like a kid and loved him like a member of the family of course. When Dallin and I broke up, he was the excuse to see each other again. And when I was afraid to have kids- Jake and Josie were the only things I could compare it to because having a kid of my own was so hard to even imagine and then Dallin said “think about how much you love Jake and then imagine if he could talk and do things have interests etc” and that was what helped me finally make the jump. I will forever be grateful for Jake and everything that he taught me as a young person. Because when I was really young, and we got him, that was the first time that I felt really committed to something so if it was inconvenient or difficult, I wasn’t gonna just give up on it because it was mine if that makes sense and so I think that did help to prepare me a lot for being married and being a parent because it’s hard work and you can’t give up on it so there were a lot of times that I was chasing him down the street or riding my bike through the rain calling his name looking for him because he ran away so many times and a lot of times that he ruined things or made messes or ripped the garbage out and spread it all over the kitchen you name it. He did a lot of stuff, but I’m grateful for it all the good the bad and the ugly.

He was such a good dog and we were so lucky to have him in our lives for almost 15 years and he was endlessly patient through two babies and two toddlers and never nipped or even got impatient with them at all. He was just like the best family dog ever and he was so patient through having to get a new puppy when we got Sadie.

Click the link below to watch Jakey's memorial video 🐶

https://vimeo.com/1205183295?share=copy&fl=sv&fe=ci

If there’s anything that could possibly give you any peace in situations like this, it’s at least that we know it was the right time for him. Because he pretty much decided. He pretty much told us that he was done. Because he just stopped eating and stopped drinking and stopped moving and he refused to drink water like even if we put water in a syringe. And he was losing so much weight. He was just really frail and tired and weak and fragile.

So we spent pretty much the last two days just with him and we sat on the porch a lot just looking outside and I think that was what he wanted. He seemed really happy and really at peace with everything.

There was a lot of crying and dAllen and I both had terrible headaches after that because of all the crying and I went in and out of almost just like complete denial that I was happening because I was just like start cleaning everything and think about other things and do other things, and then I would be crying and sitting with him and it seemed like dAllen and I took turns kind of doing that like being fined and then being really emotional and then being fine, and then being really emotional

Luckily, the kids didn’t take it as hard as we did. I think it was because Jake was old their entire lives and Sadie is more their dog because Sadie will play with them. And Jake just kind of slept all the time. And they saw him deteriorating and understood that he was sick. There have still been a lot of hard questions and there have been hard moments for them, but overall they’ve handled it really well.

Sadie has handled it really well too. I think it helped that Sadie was there and so she understood. Because when we lost Josie Jake wasn’t there and so it was like she left and never came back and so it was really hard for Jake. But Sadie has seemed really calm about the whole thing so I think that she understood that was what he wanted to.

This is his favorite spot in my closet and his favorite blanket that he always slept on

Sadie cuddled him alit

This was when the company came. Sara watched the kids for us so they didn’t have to see it.

It was so hard for us. But it was the best possible way for him to go- he was at home and comfortable and being told he’s a good boy and we love him and getting pets from us, and then he just took a nap and didn’t wake up. So I’m so glad he was comfortable and not anxious or in pain

And that was the last time we saw him. We will miss him so much. It’s almost impossible to explain. It’s messed me up with just realizing mortality and life in general and how fast time passes

Sheesh.... 😭

Anyways... school stuff

McKinley started at a new school and she seems to really like it so far and these are pictures of her first day. She is doing the summer school semester so it’s June and July and then they take August off and she goes back for September.

So she does dance and tumbling and preschool

And Cooper is still loving homeschool and doing great

First day of school, we went to Chick-fil-A after they were both so sweet and cute and excited

Dentist

They both did so amazing again at the dentist! It is seriously life-changing that I could take them at the same time. They can just sit there and do it and everything is fine and not dramatic. There was seriously a time that I wondered if that would ever happen for me lol we have been through some really hard years with these kids. I swear the last five years have changed me 100% as a person and I am not the same person that I used to be at all. Because I have experienced how difficult just going to the dentist can be now I always get emotional every time they do it again and again and again. Like a successful haircut or a successful music class I just get so excited and grateful and proud of them.

I think a huge part of it is because we went screen free. So we do let them watch a show once a week, but that’s not very much and so screens are still very, very mesmerizing for them and so because they’re able to watch a movie while the dentist works in their mouth, they were fine with it.

new amazing built in that we love

Hector came and built this for us, and there were some hiccups in the process, but we love it! And we saved a lot of money going with him!

This is Sadie before Jake passed. She would sneak through the gate and just lay on the top step and stare at me like am I allowed up here now? Can I hang out with you guys? after taking past, we didn’t want Sadie to feel alone and so we’ve just pretty much let her be with us no matter where we go and so we took all the gates off and she has been really calm and doesn’t park or jump up as much and she doesn’t run out in the street like we can just sit on the front porch with her without being leashed and she doesn’t go anywhere and we don’t have to worry about like her running out of the garage if we leave the garage door open or any of that so it’s been really nice

The kids loved Hector. McKinley wanted to play Hector in the basement one time so I got in the little playhouse and she came to the door and said hi it’s Hector. I’m here to do construction and then she started painting and hitting the playhouse with a hammer lol I thought it was so funny and cute.

So once it was done, it was hard to figure out how to decorate it

And I finally got a new table centerpiece, and I love it so much! And it was so nice of Hector to cut down the legs for me because before it looked like it was levitating

It has been so fun to use the monthly decor again that I used to have when we lived in Arizona!

This was when Trinity and Kaitlin visited and we did a nature walk and went out to dinner and it was really fun

I thought it was so funny that there’s a sticker on the lower right corner of this van that says caution, blind person driving and it’s because it’s a person who installs blinds lol I love a good pun

T-ball! We all mostly just tolerated it. The novelty wore off real quick and then by the end we didn’t even show up anymore lol because both kids would just cry the whole time so I gave up.

Swim lessons with daddy

Dallin is obsessed with Pokémon and has sold a lot through streaming and going to shows as a vendor

We went to a bees game and Cooper had done it before with his dad, but McKinley has never gone before so he said here I’ll show you how to go to a baseball game! And then he was just holding her hand as we walked through and we got there and I thought that was super cute

She loves hot dogs

We had a lot of fun and the kids didn’t last the whole game but probably we made it halfway through

I finally got all my dental work done, but I have been procrastinating and he fixed the chip in my two front teeth so if you look at the next picture that was the before version and then if you look at the after it’s hilarious because I couldn’t really even smile in that picture cause my whole face was numb so I was kind of laughing at my own face when I tried to smile to see how he fixed my two front teeth. But he gave me something for anxiety and as it turns out, it was just kind of like a sleeping pill and my also my whole mouth was numb and so I tried to take a drink and was just like dribbling. It was just falling down my face and onto my chest, and I kept trying to drink. It was so funny and then I ended up falling asleep in the basement while the kids were playing.

It was so windy the attic blew opened

I have still been enjoying going to a couple different classes at the gym and doing the red light therapy afterward and I finished the inheritance games book

fair

We had so much fun at the Saratoga Springs carnival and the kids were so brave and did so many cool rides completely on their own and I was so proud of them

Such a beautiful run that I did with Kiersten on Saturday morning

Saw these enormous birds

Then this was the Saratoga Springs parade. I think the kids had less fun doing that. McKinley just wanted to eat candy and she wasn’t really that excited and it kind of seemed like Cooper was the same like he was just really hot and he’s like oh OK that’s gonna go but didn’t get that excited about anything. But to be fair, it was a pretty lame parade. There wasn’t really anything that amazing in it.

Went with Samson Jordan and kiersten

He put his head under

Playing with Sadie out front- we gave up on the backyard

Tball

Sadie as a sled dog cuz he saw it in a book. lol and ya he fell pretty hard

When Dallin had to get ready for the show, McKinley helped sticker all the cards and it was so sweet of her because she just noticed us doing it and was like oh I can help. She is very sweet and thoughtful.

They still sleep together every night and play together for hours and hours every day and our best friends

Cooper wanted to try riding his bike without the training wheels so we practiced it once and I know it’s gonna take a lot of practice, but it was cool that he had the interest and the courage to try and when he fell down, he didn’t cry or freak out at all and was very brave

I have loved her new clothes that she got from a person that we knew from church we bought all of their hand me downs on Facebook marketplace and since we knew them, they gave us a good deal and I have loved getting to do her hair all cute before school on Tuesday and Thursday

So I’ve still been walking every morning with Mariah before I go to the gym and that has been so amazing. I’m so grateful that I can do that. She is such a good friend. And this picture shows how about the fires have been around here lately, our state has just been on fire nonstop and it has been crazy because this guy will just look orange or red or gray and you can just smell smoke or it’s like raining ash on your car and then when you come out of the store, you have ash all over your car or I’ve gotten ash in my eye before when we’ve been walking.

McKinley likes to cook and she likes the princesses and she listens to all of the stories on Spotify and so she likes that this book combines cooking with the princesses and I think it’s so cute that she wants to be a chef

We went to see Toy story five to celebrate Father’s Day and it was so cute! We all loved it so much! Cooper didn’t have to leave at all and watch the whole thing. It was super brave and the movie inspired them to be good friends to each other and helped them learn what we’ve been talking about since we went for a while back about how screens need to be used in moderation and so it was perfect for us.

This was Father’s Day! Dallin is such a good dad to them! I don’t think they realize how good they have it. I’m so thankful for him and the father figures in my life

My mom took us out for ice cream and went to one of Cooper’s T-ball games and it was really fun and then when we came home, she fell asleep in the middle of my sentence lol so it had to be a boring sentence I guess

The new Saratoga Springs library is amazing. Look at this view.

This was the first time that we went to a library class and they were sitting still and not making noise or being distracted me anyway the whole time she was talking lol that was pretty cool but honestly, I think they were just zoned out. They weren’t engaged in what she was saying at all, and I think all of it went over their heads because it was pretty boring when she was saying so maybe that’s not that desirable because when they are engaged the way that they get engaged in something is a little bit distracting to others lol

We went on a bike ride with Alexa after they decorated their bikes for the Fourth of July bike parade and they did a few races and then Cooper said this time you can win McKinley and she was like oh thank you and they were being so sweet and then they just gave each other these big sweet hugs and asked me to take their picture it was so precious and I know that I will miss this age. I don’t even wanna say that out loud because it’s like recognizing that that will happen or that this phase is gonna pass because that’s so sad and I just want to soak it in as much as possible

See I don’t think it gets any cuter than that!

Splash pad with friends

We love our family

First time ever for little Miss McKinley to have French braids

Then we went to the free class at Michael’s on how to make a piggy bank and it was right up her alley and she loved it and it was a good one on one time for the girls

And then for my one on one time with Cooper, I took him to the dinosaur museum and Ellen took McKinley to the butterfly museum and he said they got really lucky and a ton of butterflies were landing on them. And McKinley was being nice and sharing them with the other kids. And then Cooper met a friend that played with him really well for a long time